Domain Name Bargains
Alms for Oblivion
  

Satire by
Robert Wilfred Franson

 

May 2001

  
Domain dreams for sale

A selection of commercially advertised domain names for sale, with sellers' pitches ... spelling and truncations as in the original. These generally are not websites, just names for potential websites. But they are real domain names, registered and for sale circa May 2001. My sidelights in brackets.
  


3fm.com

Perfect domain name for an FM radio station with a frequency ending in .3. Appraised at $25,000.
List Price: $25,000
[music to their ears ... pronounced "thruffem"?]
  

ASK-THE-FRIDGE.com

This domain has been registered to host a site providing receipes when you enter a short list of leftovers that are in your fridge. An ideal oprtunity for food manufacturers to direct customers to their products
List Price: Make Offer
[being a traditionalist, I ask my icebox]
  

ASPertain.com

This is an easily remembered name suitable for any purpose, especially an ASP company looking to start up. Certificate of appraisal available for an offer
List Price: $12,000
[no, Aspertame is Nutrasweet]
[I reverted to
iCab to browse these listings because Microsoft's Internet Explorer kept hanging fire on Microsoft ASP code]
  

Buzzzzzz.com

Innovative, eye-catching , snappy dot.com for lively enthusiastic startup or busy established compan
List Price: Make Offer
[snore]
  

Chilblain.com

Great Name for pharmaceutical company with products for the treatment of Chilblain
List Price: $25,000
[ugh]
  


dictasis.com

many use
List Price: $73,000
[is dictatorial stasis a use, or just a political goal?]
  

dot-dot-dot.org.uk

List Price: Make Offer
[good for stammerers, in Britain]
  

dot-diddly-dit-dot.com

Cheeky, irreverent doggerel, capable of capturing attention in any mass consumer market. Highly promotable as a subliminal audio jingle because of the instantly recognisable, classic 'knock' rhythm inherent in the syllables. (To include DotDiddlyDitDot
List Price: $99,999
[for doo-wop songsters, or Morse Code experts, or people who can spell diddly the same each time]
  

EPESSIMISTIC.COM

List Price: Make Offer
[for Luddites, or laid-off programmers]
  

eThyself.com

List Price: Make Offer
[same to you, buddy]
  


FinalRomance.com

"Final Romance" portal. Dating and matchmaking service. Finding true romance and relationships
List Price: Make Offer
[sounds ominous]
  

fortwaynechurches.com

Possible local church directory for the Fort Wayne are...this IS the city of churches
List Price: $50,000
[holy moley, that's a lot of collection money]
  

freepile.com

This is a great, memorable URL for a broad spectrum of uses, like proimotions, giveaways, sweepstakes and contests, or as a communications center, opinions site, etc, etc. VERY BRANDABLE!
List Price: $9,500
[pile of what?]
  

GoGolfing.com

List Price: $95,000
[at that price, I'll stick with miniature golf]
  

Hoarders.com

For the site dealing hoarding, collecting, or hoarding disorders
List Price: Make Offer
[all of the above, of course]
  


Ingratiated.com

Excellent single word domain
List Price: Make Offer
[not with me]
  

JJMK.COM

List Price: $5,000
[rolls right off the tongue]
  

nanocomputer.com

The right name to sell the next generation of computer
List Price: $50,000
[think small; think very very small]
  

oblivious.com

List Price: Make Offer
[alms for oblivion, as Shakespeare says]
  

Ostensive.com

Another prestigious one name domain. the last of the few remaining. A must to own offers considere
List Price: $15,000
[ostensive: "in Logic, Setting forth a general principle manifestly including the proposition to be proved." — OED. ... Yes, precisely]
  


PATTYWAK.com

Also available: BIPSY.COM! ThrillsPlus.com! iLapItUp.com
List Price: Make Offer
[hmm]
  

5ALEROOM.com

As close as you ever gonna get to "saleroom.com", but at a fraction of the cost!!!
List Price: Make Offer
[I had to read the name twice to see the point; relying on a typo to be remembered in preference to the real word ...]
  

shoplifts.com

List Price: Make Offer
[grab it and run; but shoplifts.org has more grassroots-involvement potential]
  

thecentennialgroup.com

name is appropriate for busineses named "centennial Group
List Price: $10,000
[for all I know, there may be hundreds of them]
  

Truthless.com

List Price: Make Offer
[this has a certain charm]
  


up-in-lights.com

Great potential for any business and/or company!! Asking Price $40,000 or make offer
List Price: $40,000
[fireworks, neon, or emergency flares?]
  

VoteAmerica2000.com

The name says it all! The 2000 election is heating up! Here's your chance to own this Great, easy to advertise and remember web name! A rare opportunity
List Price: Make Offer
[oops, running late]
  

wapibiza.com

for use with heavy traffic wap website on the dance mecca of Ibiza
List Price: $15,000
[... a Spanish island near Mallorca; if reciprocal, Mecca in Saudi Arabia is a dance ibiza; but I doubt it]
  

where.at

Best Brandability out there for an internet search website. Where's it at? Where.at
List Price: $68,000
[if you're wondering where .at's at, it's Austria]
  

wombboom.com

Retails outlets dealing in sale of babywea
List Price: $17,000
[no, no: not wombats; it's the bulge before the baby boom]
  


yeabuddy.com

YeaBuddy.com, game site, search engine, almost any kind of site could be named this domain name
List Price: $10,000
[some say Yea, I say Nay]
  

Youre-Wel.com

List Price: Make Offer
[thanks, I've been better]
  

YTOMORROW.Com

GUARANTEED WINNER & SUCCESS!! This HIGH-PROFILE Domain Name Will definitely bring millions of viewers and customers. Excellent Domain Name to have Instant Name Recognition and Easy to Remember for any kind of business or organization.
List Price: Make Offer
[Y not put it off till tomorrow]
  


  
[... Good luck in the name game, fellows.]
  

  
Ulysses (to Achilles):

                     Time hath, my lord,
A wallet at his back, wherein he puts
Alms for oblivion, a great-sized monster
Of ingratitudes. Those scraps are good deeds past,
Which are devoured as fast as they are made,
Forgot as soon as done. Perseverance, dear my lord,
Keeps honor bright.
William Shakespeare
Troilus and Cressida, 3.3.139-145

  

© 2001 Robert Wilfred Franson


  
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